Welcome, friends. It may feel early to talk about the holidays, but if you're trying to build a family, the weeks between now and New Year's can carry their own kind of weight: questions at the table, gatherings built around kids, other people's news, all arriving as the days get shorter.
We wanted to get the discussion started while there's still plenty of room to plan. Below, you'll find a feature on preparing for the season with your mental health in mind, a companion Q&A with words you can borrow, and a Reading Room collection of additional articles if you’re looking to go deeper.
Let's get into it.
In this Issue We'll Cover...
Preparing for the Holiday Season When You're Trying to Build a Family
Most holiday advice stops at "try to relax." That advice isn't just unhelpful; it's built on a myth. When researchers pooled 14 studies of women in fertility treatment, distress beforehand didn't lower pregnancy rates. What the research does support is preparing ahead, so you can lower your stress before it builds and leave more room for the parts of the season you love.
What we'll cover:
Why this stretch of the year can feel heavier, and why that isn't a personal failing
Five research-backed steps to take now, drawing on psychologist Dr. Alice Domar's work
How to protect the friendships that matter when your lives are moving at different speeds
A simple holiday plan you can fill in this month
The Reading Room: For the Season Ahead
A few pieces that can help as we think about the holidays:
Coping with Infertility During the Holidays: Darkness and Light (Harvard Health Publishing) Clinical social worker Ellen Glazer on the practical side of the season (holiday cards, which gatherings to say yes to, how much to share) and on why giving to others can ease some of the ache. A short, kind read for an evening when everything feels like a lot.
Tips for Handling Holidays (RESOLVE) This guide leans into something we didn't have room for in our feature: creating new traditions that celebrate your relationship as it is right now, whether that's a trip or a quiet day at home. It's also a good reminder that RESOLVE's peer support groups are free.
Infertility: The Difficult Conversations That Come During the Holidays (Purpose Beyond Motherhood podcast) Hosts Nicole Clark and Holly Piorkowski talk through boundaries, graceful exits, and Holly's own memory of stepping away during a family Christmas to give herself a moment. The conversation is grounded in Christian faith, so it will speak to some listeners more than others.
Your Holiday Questions, Answered
Sometimes you don't need more research. You need the exact words you can lean on. Our companion Q&A takes the questions we hear most this time of year, from "Do I have to go to the baby shower?" to "How do I ask friends to share news with me privately?", and answers each one briefly, with a script you can borrow word for word. There's even a short text you can copy and send before the season starts.
👉 Read: Your Holiday Questions, Answered
Take good care of yourselves this month. We'll see you next week.
If you enjoyed this issue of Path to Parenthood, be sure to share with anyone you know who is currently on a TTC journey ❤
